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By request: My Recap of the Leaked Tell-All video.
2020.05.14 13:14 we-feed-the-fireBy request: My Recap of the Leaked Tell-All video.
A slow descent into madness: an exhaustive recap of the tell all leak Supposedly the leaked video (clocking in at 10+ hours) was the second day filming. I watched the entire thing. This is a rambling list of the thoughts going through my mind while watching, and a fairly comprehensive timeline / summary of events, or at least the juiciest parts. I believe it becomes fairly obvious when my mental state started to decline - I was well into the 5th hour by then. Part 1: David The show begins an hour into the video. A lot of time was spent on David. Asking David the same questions, hoping he’d get a clue. Instead he doubled down on his delusion. David started in this endeavor by going on two trips with a friend over 20 years ago. He states he did not like it - 25 guys meeting 400 women in a big bar. He said it was horrible - he called the women aggressive and professional daters. He went on another trip with 10 guys meeting maybe 40 women in different cities. He describes receiving catalogs of women and selecting specific ones to meet on the trip. A friend he met on one of these trips introduced him to a web site in 2007. Lana does not work for the web site or get paid. According to David, the web sites are US sites, they contract through the agency that vets the “girls”. He insists Lana derives no income from the web site or agency. It’s illegal for him to contact her directly? He pays in order to not be scammed. He has known Lana for 7 years. She was too young at the start - he won’t “date” anyone under 25. He wasn’t talking to Lana for 2.5 years. He’s “dated” 30 girls in Ukraine when he wasn’t talking to Lana. He’s been to Ukraine 20 times. He’s been engaged twice to women over there (and twice in America.) David says Lana is very poor. Has very few clothes and possessions. She only has five pairs of shoes and gets a new pair of sneakers every 3 years or so. She doesn’t speak English. He bought her an iPhone to talk directly but she doesn’t like the keyboard because of her long fingernails. She can’t talk directly to him on the computer because the agency owns the laptop and monitors activity. He’s spent $250,000 to $300,000 on “dating” on these sites. He claims he’s a millionaire so the money is no object. Friends of David appear, say their piece, then disappear. Cesar appears. David had talked to Maria years ago. Said she was high maintenance. Yolanda and Usman join in. Usman has poor connection. Usman leaves. A wild Tom appears. Tom compliments Yolanda’s weight loss. Says he’s not hitting on her, just complimenting her. Tom doesn’t watch much of the show. Says David is his “fast forward couple”. Cesar says he visited Maria. Maria wasn’t happy he showed up. But she met him, they took photos, she asked to see his phone and he realized later she deleted the photos. They spent 10 days together, he got a couple of pecks on the cheek and lips? But no intimacy. Specified no tongue. Maria was “pissed off” that he showed up, refused to meet Cesar if the cameras were there. Wanted him to buy her a $500 pair of shoes and $300 dinner. Tom asks if he packed the chocolate panties. Cesar said he took the beaded candy ones. Yolanda said Cesar DMd her and left his phone number. Cesar says Yolanda is beautiful and that he “loves chocolate” with a Pervy laugh. But he says he was just reaching out as friends. Shaun asks Cesar if he DMs Tom. Tom confirms that he did, and that the alumni reach out to each other. Shaun asks Yolanda if she would date Cesar, she replies with an emphatic no. David went back to Ukraine and met Lana. They kissed, no other intimacy. He proposed, she accepted (they show clips.) Lana is still on the dating sites. David is still on the dating sites because Lana is. Lana is still on the site because that’s where her only friends are, David basically describes her as a shut in with no friends. At one point later in the show he drops the bombshell “love has nothing to do with it.” Ed appears. He’s holding Teddy (against the dog’s will) on his lap. Ed shouts into his mic. He yells repeatedly about David being scammed for the better part of 18 minutes. David gets excitable. Yells about this being bullshit. Yells at Tom that Darcey was still talking to other guys. The current status of the relationship? David thinks they’re not together. He hasn’t communicated with Lana in 6 days. But their engagement hasn’t been broken. So they’re engaged but no longer together? Lana refuses to participate because she’s getting hate mail from guys who have seen the show accusing her of being a scammer. Stephanie appears. Stephanie says she thinks it’s disgusting that Lana is being discussed like she’s a commodity. Points out that their relationship is transactional. David and Ed are screaming at each other over her. Stephanie Commends David for not worrying about spending $100,000 while Ed freaked out about spending $2. A clip of David proposing to Lana with a prop fake ring shows. David says the jeweler advises not buying a real diamond because he didn’t know her ring size. Says she wants to choose her own ring. Return to Ed and David arguing. Usman appears. David is getting heated. Bottom Line: David’s retiring to move to Ukraine, but started the K1 process. Shaun wraps the segment with David still arguing at the 3-hour mark. Shaun leaves (possibly to drink heavily - I would be if I was her.) I forgot to note that at some point Tom made a remark to Ed about him not being able to see his toes. It was a joke, but went completely missed by everyone else. David, Ed, Stephanie and Usman chit chat. Usman sings a bit. Part 2: Yolanda We resume at 3:30 with Yolanda. Yolanda had the flu at the beginning of December. She was in a coma for a month and was on a ventilator for 3 weeks. Her kidneys and liver were failing. Her doctor now believes she had Covid-19. She did not hear from Williams during that time. She heard from him just a couple of months ago. She didn’t tell him about her coma, he was talking about his aunt dying so it “didn’t come up.” He didn’t reach out directly, he went through “sweetberry” (?) on Instagram to ask if he could contact her again. Yolanda’s daughter and a PI the daughter hired join in. PI says the accounts have ties to Nigerian scammers. Usman joins. He knows nothing about Nigerian scammers, doubts they’re Nigerian. Usman leaves. Darcey joins. She’s wearing a platinum blonde wig, primping a bit, trying to center herself on the bed she’s sitting on. She’s nodding along to absolutely nothing, shaking her head and smiling periodically like she’s involved in a totally different conversation than we are seeing. Daughter and PI leave. Shaun asks Darcey what she thinks about Yolanda and Williams. Darcey goes into a spiel about being a target and people on IG preying on her. Starts talking about Jesse and Tom. Says she spent a lot of money on Jesse, says she helped Tom financially and bought him clothes and gifts. Goes into a tangent of non-specific items, won’t provide a direct answer on how much she spent but finally claims she spent $2000 on Tom. Erika appears. Shaun tries to get back on the topic of Yolanda and Willams. Shaun asks Erika about her opinion on The Williams mystery IG account and the blackmail. Darcey uses that opportunity to talk about being targeted by a “network of people” that was calculated by “people in different countries to target certain people around the world.” “Maybe Nigeria was a part of it, Maybe England was a part of it”. After Tom, Darcey says she met someone who targeted her, says it was a couple she knew and Tom was a part of it, says IP addresses traced to Nottingham and there’s a network of people targeting women around the world. Darcey claims her second time in Amsterdam she was robbed while shopping after Jesse told her to leave her passport if she was going out shopping. Later says pickpocketed. Implies that the robbery was a setup by Jesse. Shaun tries to redirect the subject back to Yolanda and Williams. Lisa appears. Lisa jumps right in with her expertise about Yahoo Boys, G-Men and grooming people. Darcey drops off and Usman reappears. Lisa’s gravelly voice takes on a fake Nigerian accent as they yell “baby love” at each other. Lisa goes on about her social media expertise. Explains the three different cultures of Nigeria. She tells Yolanda to join the Facebook Group SSA: Scamming Scammers Action that Lisa is a big part of. They convince Yolanda to try to call Williams on speakerphone. No answer. Lisa is also an expert in African and Nigerian accents FYI. Erika leaves. David reappears. Lisa dominates the conversation. Keeps recounting conversations and events of hackings and stuff. Lisa starts talking about Blood Rituals. Sacrifices. Money rituals. Voodoo dolls. Kidnappings. Killing people to bring luck in scamming people. They believe in black magic and juju. Lisa and Usman keep interrupting each other. Usman has never heard of this. Lisa insists this is real. Go to SSA on Facebook, all the proof is there. Yolanda, David and Shaun are stunned silent. Usman is trying to fact check Lisa’s completely far-fetched theories. Lisa purses her beak. Finally, Shaun redirects. Yolanda says she’s done. If she hears from Williams again she’s done. Yolanda is getting DMs all the time offering to FaceTime her. David tells her to go get her Groove back in Jamaica. Yolanda and David both get DMs encouraging them to hook up since they’re both in Vegas. We are 5 hours 10 minutes in. Let’s see a clip! We see Lana before she met David. She’s at the gym. She’s walking around Kiev in a silver puffer jacket and Nikes. She using her iPhone (with her short nails) to take pictures. She’s shopping for makeup. She’s sipping a latte in a cafe while typing on her laptop. She’s talking to a friend on her iPhone. She talks about America. She knows that you can get married quickly in Las Vegas. She tells her friend she has an exciting day tomorrow “I’m meeting an American.” Her friend asks if he’s wealthy. Shaun points out the inconsistencies in Lana’s apparent poverty and David’s understanding of her circumstances. David says “that’s not real”. We spent the next 10 minutes or so with Yolanda, Usman, Lisa and Shaun trying to talk some sense into David. It doesn’t work. Shaun leaves for a break. Ash appears. We spend the next while discussing quarantine. Ash hadn’t heard about Yolanda being sick, his eyes get wide when he hears her coma tale. They’re talking about lockdowns and restrictions and being able to go where you want. David thinks they’re talking about Ash being able to visit the US on his Australian passport. Lisa’s ex-husband just got out of prison. David lives in a rental house that’s being sold in a month. Yolanda asks if people read their tweets. Lisa has a stalker with 25 accounts. Lisa now has her phone number and address. She’s going to have her arrested and “put charges against her”. David gets death threats. Back to Yolanda and the Covid. David leaves. Tom returns. He asks how many bottles of lube Lisa and Usman used raw dogging it. She said none - I’m guessing she just peed on him a la Dinyell. More R-rated banter. Lisa tells Tom to ask about Usman refusing to join the mile high club. Ash looks stunned into silence. Maybe a bit frightened. He’s retreated to his nothing box. Usman tries to explain about the 70%, that it’s a B and a compliment. Tom asks why she paid twice the going rate for a goat. Lots of goat talk. Peeing goat talk. Showering the goat. Walking in sandals through mud and goat shit. Tom makes a crack about not being the only cast members showering with animals. Ash asks about Ed showering with Rosemarie’s father? Then his feed goes out. Lisa starts talking about gross food. Tom are goat brain in Albania. Lisa starts everything with “Usman, tell them about the time...” then just talks over him to tell the story herself. Stephanie appears. Ed appears. Usman leaves. Lisa tells them about the armed convoy everywhere they went. Ed wants to know about the goat. More goat tales. 7 hour 10 minute mark. Part 3: Lisa and Usman Shaun is back with Lisa and Usman. We lose Usman. Lisa had surgery. She hurt her baby toe before going to Nigeria. Ruptured a blood vessel. It swelled up in Africa. Returned to the US with a dead/dying toe. Got infected, went gangrenous, was amputated. Usman returns. The next segment is insufferable. Usman says Lisa calls him a N***** frequently. Lisa screams about opening a can of worms. Usman asks if American women are all like this. Lisa and Usman are married but keep blocking each other. Lisa is Usman’s first serious relationship. Lisa freaks out about women on Usman’s comments and in his DMs. Says she’s seen the other girls Usman dated, they’re “3 times my size”. They fight about Trish Playtas. Lisa talks over Usman. Yells, curses, threatens. Enter Giant and Aba (?) after 25 minutes of toxic bullshit. Lisa talks about getting “gangbanged”. (I think she means ganged up on, but she’s so cringe who can tell.) Lisa has a screaming match. Hangs up because she was “mistreated and disrespected”. Enter Lisa’s friend Nikki. Nikki screams about disrespect for the next forever. Lisa returns. There’s endless raspy screeching about bitches, clowns, motherfuckers and more disrespect. Fuck you. Fuck outta here. Shaun loses all control. Aba and Nikki scream at each other some more. Shaun gives up. She is writing something just below the screen. I suspect it’s her resignation letter. Finally Shaun redirects the conversation. She brings up the polygamy. If Lisa has an egg and can tote it, Usman doesn’t want another wife. If Lisa can’t squat and hatch Usman’s offspring, he will take another wife. Cue Lisa’s expertise on polygamy. Clip Roll: the night before the wedding, Lisa storms off and disrespects Usman’s brothers the night before the wedding. Lisa cackles. Avery and Ed appear. Usman and Lisa keep arguing. Shaun asks Avery’s perception. Avery asks “where is the love?” All she sees is them screaming over each other and assert themselves. Before Lisa can respond Ed jumps in. Lisa calls the kettle black and says Avery and Ed aren’t portrayed well. Ed started to watch the show after he decided to be on it. Ed compliments Usman for being calm and respectful and not using any foul words. Lisa Cackles. Ed calls her a bull in a china shop “no disrespect”. Says he thought she was the definition of a narcissist, but says she’s actually the definition of delusional. Lisa interrupts. Usman starts singing. Lisa and Ed scream over each other. Lisa tells Avery to shut up, says she went on Ed’s live drunk and making an ass of herself. Ed keeps screaming “delusional”. Lisa calls Avery a drunk. Avery tells Usman “not all American women are like that”, Lisa rebounds with “that’s why Ash dumped your ass.” Ed tells Usman there are many more nicer women. Ed: she treated you like a piece of shit. She treated you like a slave. Lisa: you are a piece of shit! Ed: you made America Sick! Lisa: Ed Fuck You! Fuck You! Lisa: you abused Rose to go on this show because no fucking other woman would! You fucking used her (x 5). Shut the fuck up. More screaming over each other. Usman begs Ed to calm down. Lisa: you’re going to let this fucking pervert who’s got charges for sexual harassment... you’re going to let this idiot come at me with the fucking charges he’s got? This fucking pervert has been grooming women. The women are coming out of the woodwork saying Ed has molested them, he’s groomed them, and god only knows what the fuck else he did to them. More screaming. Ed: the internet is fake! Lisa: Harry (producer) remove these two right now! Lisa calls them Thing 1 and Thing 2 and demands Harry remove them. Ed gets cut. Lisa continues to scream at Avery about glass houses. Tom appears. Usman is yelling now. Shaun tries to gain control. Tom: I was nervous delivering that letter to Darcey but coming in to this conversation is wild! Shaun brings up the polygamy subject again. Lisa might move to Nigeria for The Other Way. Shaun disappears. Avery drops. Lisa says “Tom, this is all for show. It’s a dog and horse, pony show I call it.” Tom blows smoke up her ass. His idea of love is apparently jealousy, anger and disrespect. He says it’s obvious they love each other because apparently only people truly in love can be that hateful and vicious and angry to each other. Shaun is back. Darcey appears. Usman is singing. Darcey is swaying to Soja Boy, slurring, “do it big! Lisa, Be the queen!” Darcey’s been in the sauce. Usman tells Lisa to cover her bra. More second wife talk. Tom asks a question about what kind of second wife Usman would have. Darcey says something. Shaun asks Lisa a question. Usman freaks out and screams “Tom asked me a question, let me answer the question”. This leads to Lisa screaming at Shaun about disrespecting Usman, screams at the producer “you better tell this hostess to shut her mouth” shut up! Shut up!” Usman keeps yelling. Shaun trying to calm everyone. Lisa: Barb! Barb! Barb! Do you hear me? It’s time to cut her now! Barb! Cut her now! Barb! Cut the fucking thing, cut it now! She’s disrespecting Usman! Fucking stop it! Stop it barb! Fuck off! Darcey looks like a confused bobble head. Lisa hangs up. Usman and Darcey talk about Trish Playtas. Darcey: things are don’t differently in America, I’ve been in the entertainment industry way before Tom, way before Jesse. Usman starts to explain going live with Trish. Lisa returns. Part 4: Wrap Ups and “where does your relationship stand?” Shaun turns to Darcey and Tom, asks where the future of their relationship is. Lisa and Usman respond loudly, not letting them talk. Finally, Lisa and Usman are gone. Tom: friends maybe blah blah blah great mom, good person, wish you the best. Darcey: my journey, my daughters, my brother who passed blah blah blah don’t want toxic negativity Ash and Avery return: same question Ash is worried about his hair being cut off on the screen. Ash started the journey with the intent to propose. Says he loves her. Breaking up was the hardest thing. Future is going to be looking after his family. Ash answers the question in a concise, straight forward manner. Just kidding. He uses a lot of words to absolutely avoid answering anything. Avery says this is a hard question to ask someone who just separated. She trails off. I think... I don’t... I wanted... honestly... Erika and Stephanie return: where do you stand? Not even friends. Can they ever be friends? Stephanie says best case is friends from afar. Erika says they’ve been friends and fought many many times. She came in today wanting to speak and wasn’t able to do that, but doesn’t hold any hate. It’s going to be hard to see any of this in a positive light. Erika didn’t get a change to express that she took a big step coming out to her parents then Stephanie dumped her the next morning. Stephanie came out to her mom too apparently, but it wasn’t like Erika’s coming out (receptive and kind). Pick up lines: Asking what they’ve been doing during the quarantine, will air at the beginning of the show. (Erika makes earrings!) Shaun has to rephrase the question to Stephanie to ask specifically about... HER ILLNESS! Bet you didn’t see that one coming. Yolanda wrap up: no more online dating. She’s going to meet men at the market or the casino. Old school. Ed wrap up: who cares. Ok. I guess we do. Shaun asks about the shower. I just can’t listen to him anymore. Then she asks about the first night they were intimate. I’m going to barf. Ed takes full responsibility for “not the things I did, but the way I did them”. Rose is mad at him right now. She wanted to reconcile February 9. Ed is taking a break from dating (sorry ladies!) but Rose taught him to love again and “she didn’t destroy me like my first marriage did.” His mom is moving in with him. But she’s a nurse so hasn’t moved in yet. Ed’s mom is a nurse caring for a young child with a tracheostomy. Ed sucks, but a round of applause for Mother Ed is deserved. David wrap up: David is going to retire earlier than planned because of the recession resulting from the quarantine. Shaun asks about the first kiss. David says something about bowling. He bowls 4 strikes with Lana. The girls in Ukraine love bowling but don’t get to do that. So he takes them. He bets kisses for every strike he bowls. Lana is upset over the publicity from the show. Gets physically ill in front of the camera. If she won’t come to the US or dumps him, he will live part time in the Ukraine - 3 months at a time - to continue dating women there. It’s over. Thank God.
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